Ashley

Hello?  ((echo)) ((echo))

Anybody home?

Im a bad poster, I know.  I should be shoot. 

It has been an "interesting" month which has resulted in knowing nurses by name and an arm that looks like a herion addict.  On a slightly happier note...the wedding plans are starting to come together and I now have physical things to show for it.  We are going to try a home wedding.  This was decided mostly because we're not formal people and of the venues available in this area are country clubs or stuffy been there done that hotel ballrooms.  Of course there is the church option but I feel incredibly hypocritical using a church for a wedding when I don't belong to that church *im a heathen, I know*.  Having it at home means we can control the environment, make it informal, and of course there are no rental fees.  The down side is it make come out costing more because you have to rent just about everything. Im also trying to plan things to keep me from crying hysterically...im overily emotional during sappy moments, never sad, just sappy.  The biggest problem is the guest list.  We wanted a small wedding, under 50, but the guest list has now balloned to 100 because of obligatory invites such as coworkers and long lost friends/relatives.  I can't tell people no but I have no idea where Im going to put everyone.  The cost isnt the problem, just size.

On a side note, we've choosen where we're going for our honeymoon.  A cruise to St Thomas, St Marteen, Belize and Costa Maya.  Heh im actually looking forward to the cruise more than the wedding :).  I shall buy sexy slutty dresses and bathing suits for said honeymoon :)...especially if I keep loosing weight like I have been.  (35 lbs down baby). 

Lets see...what else has happened...oh!  We adopted a hound named Lola.  Shes a mere 10 months old yet already full size.  We're having problems getting her trained not to jump.  She gets overily excited and wants to jump and play with the neighborhood kids not realizing shes as big as they are.  She also has a mistaken indentiy of being a gopher and digs accordingly.  Our backyard is beginning to look like a mine field.

We also have new neighbors who has a stay at home mom continuing my title as the only working mom in the neighborhood.  When we did our neighborily meet and greet I got this lovely question "You work?!  Who watches Courtney?  The Y? Oh. Ok. I see."  Yup, furthers my title as a heathen mother because I...God forbid...work.  Grr!!!

I have already disclosed too much and will stop rambling.

I could do much trash talking about how the Gators were not given the respect they deserved coming into this *glares at so-called experts*, but instead, I'll let the numbers speak for themselves.

GATORS 41 OHIO ST 14

1st Downs	21	8
Total Yards	370	82
Passing	214	35
Rushing	156	47
Penalties	6-50	5-50
3rd Down Conversions	10-19	1-9
4th Down Conversions	2-3	0-1
Turnovers	0	2
Possession	40:48	19:12

I was trying to think of a way to post this without using an absurd amount of !!!!!'s and unneeded capitalization yet still properly convey my excitement....then I realized that it is not possible and anyone who reads this most likely is already aware that I possess a certain level of dorkness ....so that being said...


GATORS WON THE SEC......annnnnd

ARE GOING TO THE BIG SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (almost done) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(wait for it)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The South
The Inland North
Philadelphia
Boston
North Central
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

The shooting in Colorado has brought a new level of anger. This man lined the students up, picked out the girls he would like as though it were a grocery list, molested these 6 girls, and knowing what his fate would be he took a cowards way out and committed suicide and took one young girl's life in the process. How can it be, when we claim to live in the most civilized and just era, that a man would ever consider harming children in the way in which he has. This is, by far, the cruelest form of abuse a person could do to anyone. These girls are always going to carry the fear and shame that he has bestowed upon them and for what? His perverted sense of pleasure? What man get’s joy from molesting a child, and yes, 16 is still very much a child. While this is not a crime that is new to humanity, it is one that by all means should be extinct in a civilization that is suppose to be enlighten. More and more stories come pouring in of girls being kidnaped, molested and the murdered as though they were rag dolls being tossed aside. While the mind of these man cannot me changed by us, the laws can. Why is it, that a heroin addict gets longer prison time that a child molester who harms no one but himself? How is it that a child molester could ever be paroled and released? A man that is capable of harming a child in this manner is not someone that can be reformed. If you are sick enough to even imagine doing what they have done, then you are someone that should not ever return to our society. The registry is a joke. Half of all molesters do not register and are then "lost" in the system. Even when a molester registers, how is that to keep him from molesting again? John Couey was a registered offender. I may be southern, I may be cruel and not enlightened to modern ideas of compassion and reform but I do not believe prisoners should have any rights at all. American’s rights are covered under the constitution, and laws were enacted to protect those rights. Look at it, if you will, as a contract. Our contract should state, in agreement to payment (our rights) you agree to follow set terms (the laws). Therefor, if you breach said contract by committing a crime, then you should no longer have those rights. Therefor, things such as the recent claim that lethal injection is cruel and unusual should not matter because you no longer are protected under those rights. On that note, how is lethal injection cruel and unusual while raping and fatally beating 17 year old Terri Whincell is not? Children are our obligation to protect as they cannot protect themselves. For us, as a society, to allow this to continue to happen means we are failing in our task. Every child needs to be fully educated in knowing how to protect themselves and know what to look for. Every child needs to be watched and never left alone in a store, allowed to walk alone to a friend’s house or left with a man that could possibly abuse them. While every rape cannot be prevented, every offender can be stopped from committing again. They should have no leniency as they have none for their victims.

MIAMI (Reuters) - A Florida diver shot a large grouper with a spear gun then apparently drowned when the fish sped into a hole, entangling the man in the line attached to the spear, investigators said Monday.

The 42-year-old man, whose name was withheld, was free-diving in about 25 feet of water off the lower Florida Keys Saturday and speared a Goliath Grouper, Monroe County Sheriff's Detective Mark Coleman said.

"It looks like the fish wrapped the line attached to the spear around the victim's wrist. The fish then went into a hole in a coral rock, effectively pinning the man to the bottom of the ocean," Coleman said in a news release.

Police divers found the speared fish tightly wedged into the hole, with the man's body still tangled in the line, a sheriff's spokeswoman said.

 

 

Goliath Grouper are the largest members of the sea bass family and can weigh hundreds of pounds.

I am sunburned in places I swear never saw the sun, I am tired because of not sleeping because of said sunburn, I gained 2lbs from horrible Labor Day eating and an addiction to boiled pnuts, if it were possible to remove my nose right now I would because of allergies, I have taken shower after shower and am still finding sand, I am tired of hearing about Steve Irwin because in all honesty we knew it was coming, you can't tempt nature that many times before it bites you in the ass, annnnnnnnd im highly jealous of rich people right now as I am poor and just got paid, heh.  I think thats about it for now.

Could I honestly get anymore tired.  I dont think its humanly possible.  I believe the next step would be a coma.  Mmm a coma would be nice....long interrupted sleep complete with a feeding tube.  No reason to wake up.  Yup, very nice.

Someone, who is not me, is using my pillow at this very moment. I am very upset about this and shall quickly rectify the situation. Rectify, hmm, sounds like a gay catholic sex fetish.

I must say, I am highly bored.  Not your average, everyday bored but rather that watching the NASA channel bored.  One must ask, how is it that NASA is constantly under budget yet still manage to have a station that features a rotating earth for hours at a time.  I must have missed something in business class. 

I have, however, download most of the internet.

Jessie is in South Carolina so I have babysitting duty.  Oh, Courtney got in trouble again.  On Friday she was pissy from the get go and decided to write a "I Hate the YMCA" note to her counselors.  I didn't even know she knew how to spell hate, which mind you, is now on the black list right behind mother fucker, which she called a little girl last summer.  For personal reference, she can contest that soap, especially Victoria Secret Lavender soap, tastes well, worse than cat food. 

Will DCF get upset if you have an excorsism on your child?  As long as you leave the chains out of it?

We have a tree.  A now dead tree.  I think something made the tree a resort.  Anyways, it once was a large beautiful oak in our front yard.  Now its a hurricane hazard.  So Jessie and our neighbor, Pee Wee, yes that is his name, have decided this brillant plan:  Pee Wee shall climb said tree, cut said branches, tie said rope around said tree, cut said tree, and pray it falls away from the house.  This is what will really happen:  Any episode of America's Funniest Home Videos.  Pray for me. 

First matter on the agenda:

Do not, I repeat, do not waste your time, money, effort, or breath on Miami Vice. To say it makes the list of top 10 worst movies of all times is being nice. If the show is anything like the movie that I for one am glad to be a child of the Blossom generation.

Secondly,
I have found the dress. Well, it has been the dress long before I had the groom. I just now have a reason to purchase said dress. I personally like the slutty Scarlet Letter red, however, I have promised the woman who I fear more than the antichrist, my grandmother, that I would be getting Ivory. And yes, I received the speach about no respectful woman who has choosen to live in sin, i.e. shackin' up, would ever wear a white dress. How shocking!

This is said dress:
http://www.bridalonlinestore.com/store/displayimage.asp?image=Jewell-front-b.jpg

Lastly,
Courtney is grounded once again. She stomped her feet and told her camp counselor she hated kickball and was not going to play and walked away from her. Some honesty here, would you *speaking to those born before 1990* have EVER thought of telling an adult no? Hell no! You never knew what would happen, but did know you didn't want to find out. In the past three weeks she has gotten in trouble 3 times, twice of which were hitting. To say I dont know what to do is an understatement. It doesnt make sense. She is perfect with me, complete with the yes ma'ams. At the Y she'll be perfect for them also, then all of a sudden turn bipolar and start acting up. I expect her to test the ropes, after all she's a blonde female, but it comes in waves for no apparent reason. I tried to think back when I was a kid about the best err well worst punishment I had to do and I honestly can't remember being "really" punished. We all had the sitting in the back seat with your evil sibling, getting in trouble by mom the driver who then reached behind and slap the shit out of whose ever knee she could reach. She's too old for the corner and spanking, well, Im southern so Im not antispanking but it doesnt work on her. Shes doesn't live in fear of it like we did. Shes too damn happy. She never gets upset. The best punishment is being grounded for her but even that doesn't solve this odd, unpredictable acting out. Jessie thinks she's ADHD because of the excessive talking and other signs but in all reality, every 6 year old talks too much and won't sit still. I dont think thats it, it may be, but I dont know. She feels bad when she gets in trouble, which is good because it means shes not a serial killer in training who starts torturing animals. She also never knows why she acts up, she just doesn't think. She starts first grade in one more week and if O2B and kindergarten were any prediction of how this year will be, its going to be long and frustrating. We're making an apt with her ped. to see if she can help or suggest anything.

Damn, this parenting thing is hard. No wonder women become bitchy the older they are.

Though many of you are LJ slackers like I have become, I trust those faithful will spread the word, or I will be forced to use old fashion means of communication, and you all know, I dont call people. Anyways, here is my proposal, seeing how we are always bitching about drifting a part, I say fuck (pardon my southern), waiting 6 more years for a reunion and have one ourselves. This proposal does not mean meeting at the Brown Lantern one Sunday after church, but rather something classier, memorable, and money-draining. I propose Vegas .

We've all begun our lives and as each year is added, they become more complicate. We loose touch, memories and gain those precious little tax-deductions. Now, I know you all are as poor as I, hell, afterall we do reign from a land of chickens and pine trees. So I suggest a future date so that we may hide *cough*, I mean save, money from our gfs, bfs, and those who talked us into marriage. And I will not discriminate against those who were not fortunate enough to be an '02, but instead all are invited, well scratch that, those of legal age are invited. Sorry those who have not reached the promise land, but your time shall come, just not right now because a sober Vegas is not a fun Vegas.

I have a new addiction of which there is no 12-step program for: World Series of Pop Culture on VH1. It first began as "oh, that team is from UF" and now its much more. Im a junkie. I need an intervention.

I just began reading old....old posts and have come to this conclusion: my frequent use of typos back my ass look ignorate. I should read these things from time to time.

Nov 5th? Damnit! I almost made it a year. My poor lj, so deprived of love and attention. If it was a child, I'd be sharing a cell with an overily tattoed butch woman named Bertha. Life is well, life. Not to sound overily pessimistic but life is eeehhh. Yup, that explains it. I miss my friends. Matt, Lisa, Ali, Chad...all of yall. In alot of ways, I feel old before my time.

Dustin, be a good bubba and invite your kid sister to come visit. I miss you too :(

On a side note, I am no longer a public servant, but instead work for a law firm where you don't count down until death. Ok so Im being slightly over dramatic, but hey, its fun :). The people are nice...and entertaining, to say the least. The dynamics there are slightly odd. One especially has taken fancy with me, for some unknown reason. She feels the need to tell me her life story and I havent known her but a few weeks. Ive always been that type though, the impartial listener. I should start charging...or demand a rank of Budha.

Oh! I taught Courtney to ride a bike this weekend. I broke down in tears; It was one of the greatest feelings on earth. To be able to help make a milestone like that happen ...is well...undescribable. Everyone should go out and procreate. Just not all at one time.

My brothers gettin' married...my brothers' gettin' married....damnit, hes getting hitched before me. The ol' bastard. =)